Wedded Bliss
by Katycat1970
Summary: From Lilacmermaid's wonderful list of prompts "On their wedding day, Will didn't stop beaming the entire day, unable to take his eyes off her for even one second". Thank you for such wonderful ideas…. :) I don't own the Newsroom – just playing around with the wonderful characters Mr Sorkin created.
1. Wedding Day - Part I

I'm an educated man... I've always prided myself on having a pretty damn good use of the English language... I studied hard all the way through school, there was four years at College, three years at law school, I passed the bar exam, for a while back I was a pretty handy lawyer and then for the last ten years I've been a television news anchor - and a pretty good one at that – even if I say so myself! Hey, I can talk, I could be described as eloquent, I can question things well, I can explain things well, I can make the country's finest politicians uncomfortable with my vocabulary and line of questioning so tell me this - why is all forms of speech absolutely failing me now and on my wedding day of all days?

I'm sure you're thinking after hearing all that that I, Will McAvoy, would be able to express myself, maybe string together a coherent sentence when your bride appears before you but no - here I am - an absolute jabbering idiot as I stand and just gaze at the most wonderful woman to have ever been put on this earth.

Ms Mackenzie MacHale is the creature responsible for this complete lack of vocabulary right now... Yes - Mackenzie MacHale - otherwise known as my fiancé - or if we were having this 'conversation' in thirty minutes time - I'd actually say my wife! Yup this beautiful being who has temporarily made me speechless is Mrs William Duncan McAvoy to be – that is if my brain ever re-joins the rest of my body and I vocally manage to get through the wedding service.

Yup, I know what you're probably thinking because it's the same thing I think most days – how the hell is this possible? How is a man like me marrying a woman like her? Talk about punching above my weight! But, yes, somehow I've managed to persuade this beautiful, witty, charming, intelligent, damn sexy woman to marry me. I will admit that I have no idea on earth why she would say 'yes' to being joined to me for the rest of our days but she has and I swear no man on earth could be happier than I am right at his very minute. (Actually I could be happier if I could, in reality, speak right now instead of standing here with my mouth wide open gazing gormlessly at my wife to be).

Okay – those of you that know us well will know that Mackenzie & myself - we've had a bit of a colourful past. I'd normally say that story would take way too long to explain in detail now but, I fear I may just have to go into it briefly so you can see why I'm the luckiest man on the earth, which in turn may help to understand my actions (or lack of actions) right now.

So – our story goes like this - and do remember this is briefly told – if I went into it at length we'd be here till our first wedding anniversary. You'd get the picture when I say we met at the offices of Atlantis Cable News where she was presented to me as my executive producer, I fell in love, she totally bossed me around for a couple of months, I fell in love a bit more, then I finally worked up the courage to ask the girl of my dreams out to dinner where in the course of three wonderful, wonderful hours I fell completely and utterly head over in heels in love with this wonderful woman and, if I'm honest, I have been in love with her ever since.

Of course, the path of true love didn't run too smoothly for me and my Dulcinea (I'll go into our Don Quixote referencing some other time) but yes – there was a few years when I didn't see my girl for a while. Okay, didn't see her might be underplaying it – I'll reword that…. There was a time - three years, four months, sixteen days and about nine hours (not that I was counting) that we were apart and to say my heart shattered into a million pieces in that time away from each other would be the understatement of the century.

But those miserable, moping days spent separately didn't mean I wasn't still in love with her – I was probably more in love with her in that time apart than I was before we split – I just very, very stupidly denied that simple fact for an extremely long time (easy job for a confirmed idiot like me) and my stupidity forced her to take herself off to the Middle East and report in a War zone for god knows how long. Even when she appeared back into my life in 2010, I denied my love for her - I denied it for months and months on end. That's a mature thing to do I hear you say and yes, I will admit it wasn't the smartest thing for a supposedly intelligent middle aged man to do – especially when the woman of your dreams is making it perfectly clear that she's incredibly remorseful for her tiny little indiscretion of sleeping with her ex twat of a boyfriend.

So yes, when the love of your life is wearing her heart on her sleeve, letting everyone know her guilt & regret, most men still in love would fall into her waiting arms but no – not me – not Will McAvoy. Oh no – I don't like to do things simply. No, I put her through a further two years of hell, a further two years of punishing her, a further two years of making her wait and, god only knows why, but she hung around and she waited and she waited and then – amazing woman that she is - she waited some more. She dedicated her life to me and our show in those first two years back in New York (did I actually tell you we produce a top television news programme when we're not gushing about love) but I was the biggest idiot on earth. I'll admit to that now – I think I even knew it back then – it's just sometimes so much easier to ignore the hurt in the hope it simply disappears.

So anyway, she's waiting – I'm being an idiot – she's putting up with all sorts of stupid things until I finally figured it all out in my idiot head. By the way, this idiot term that I keep calling myself – well that's like a pet name Mackenzie has for me - She actually may have called me an idiot once or twice over the past few years – I try to tell her I'm affable but she prefers idiot – they mean the same thing though don't they?! (well they do in my mind)!

Sorry, I digress from the story (well I am a trained lawyer)! After my months of dreadful behaviour I heard a rumour one day that some guy from CNN had asked her out to dinner. Now this guy's a catch in anyone's book – he's good looking, extremely rich, a body to die for, a huge success at his job and more importantly a hell of a lot younger than this cranky guy Mackenzie's stupidly waiting around for (that's me by the way). Now, Mr CNN liked Mackenzie – really liked her – and I can't blame him on that bit – seriously – who wouldn't? So guess what? She gave me one last chance in her beautiful, indiscreet way she has. She actually asked my advice, asked me what I thought she should do – she laid it out on a plate to me, all but warning me that this was it – my final chance to get her back - and what did I do? I told her to go out to dinner – I said he seemed like a nice enough guy and I told her to go out to dinner – to let herself out of jail.

To most people that seems a real unintelligent thing to do… Yup –I agree with you now but at that point - more than anything – I really did want her to be happy and I thought Mr CNN could provide that happiness for her that I couldn't. See – I told you I'm affable! "Go out with him" I said… I clearly remembered saying the words to her… I saw the disappointment that appeared on her face instantly when I said the words but still I said it again – "Go out with him. I hope you have a good time." I couldn't have made it any clearer to her.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid because the disappointment on her face was nothing compared to the part of me that died inside as I said the words but truly, her happiness was all that was important – I didn't care one bit about my own happiness. Hey…. I said I was well educated – I never said I was smart (and there is a difference).

Talking of smart - she's the smart one – my Mackenzie…. She's the one who can handle any situation whether we're at work or at home…. She's so beautiful, sexy, intelligent, gifted, totally stunning and as an Executive Producer there is simply no one better in the business than her and hey - she loves ME and is marrying ME?! Come on – a crabby, cantankerous, fifty something year old guy like me and she chooses me over Mr CNN and all the rest of the male population out there? Seriously – I have no idea why but believe me, every single day when I wake up with this absolute Goddess draped all over me I thank my lucky stars above that I'm the one she chooses to love, to kiss, to cuddle up to on a cold night and I'm the one she chooses to share all her hopes and dreams with... I'm the one she chooses to spend the rest of her life with and she's even talking about starting a family as soon as possible. She chooses to do all that with me – Will McAvoy! Honestly, I have no idea why she wants me or what I've done to deserve her but believe me I'm thankful – truly, truly thankful.

Anyway, back to our story… She accepted Mr good looking CNNs dinner date but luckily my old pal Charlie Skinner made me come to my senses just in the nick of time. That Friday night after our show, as Kenz was getting ready for the date of the year, I received the pep talks of all pep talks from Charlie – I can still feel the wrath of his words to this day! It did the trick though - I think I managed to sort my head out and rescue the situation by the skin of my teeth. Man – that night in the newsroom was a night I'll never forget... It took a hell of a lot of the intelligent talk I'm supposed to possess, a lot of soul searching, a hell of a lot of apologies and in the end it came down to me just plain old begging for her to give us another try. See, that's how smart she is my girl – she's known my feelings all along and she's waited for me to come to my senses, she played the game that needed to be played and the game ended up with me pleading with her and her telling me a little while later that 'I had her at hello'! By the way, that's a quote from one of the very many girlie films she makes me watch these days but hey who's the mug? Who cares about girlie films on a Sunday afternoon when we're usually snuggled so tightly in each other's arms at the time that I'll watch anything she damn well wants me to watch.

So that's it – that's the story of Will & Mackenzie and how I ended up here, on Valentine's Day, dressed in my finery with my best man (the afore mentioned Charlie Skinner) standing by my side and my bride standing in front of me looking utterly amazing. At this very moment she looks like an angel sent down from heaven, dressed from top to toe in ivory satin and lace. Her beautiful brunette hair is falling around her face with a gorgeous antique ivory veil hanging over her face that her grandmother and mother both got married in, in years gone by. Now, if that veil's not a blessing then what is? She comes from a long line of very happy marriages in her family and I hope and pray that we won't let that side of things down.

As the organ stops playing she turns to me with an almost saintly look on her face and I have this feeling deep, deep down inside of me that just simply takes my breath away…. So now I've lost my vocabulary and had the breath knocked out of me and yet I'm supposed to remember a list of wedding vows very shortly. As I gaze into her eyes I can see she looks nervous (probably because I look like a brainless idiot right now)… she has her bottom lip slightly resting between her teeth right now which is always a complete give away that she's apprehensive. Her Father steps back a little to join her mother and Charlie steps away from me slightly leaving just Mackenzie and myself and the Priest. Somehow, somewhere inside of me something snaps into action in my brain and I remember everything I'm supposed to be doing in an instant….

Welcome back brain! God how I need you right now….

With my new found brainpower I turn and reach forward for her hands and realise again that this is probably the single most important thing I will ever do in my life and I will not allow myself or anyone else to mess this up for us. For the hundredth time today, and the millionth time over the past six months, I thank the 'God of Love' up above for rewarding some previously done good deed by me and sending me Mackenzie to love and be loved in return.

"Hey" I manage to whisper as her hands curl into mine and her fingers entwine with my own… "You look beautiful Kenz…" and I don't think I've ever meant a sentence more than I just meant that one. I hear my croaky voice whisper the words across to Mackenzie and I am very impressed with myself that I managed to form a whole sentence – a sentence that managed to bring a smile a mile wide across my brides face and, if possible, it makes her look even more stunning.

Ahhh – I know you're thinking how soppy I sound right now but - come on guys – you tell me - how am I supposed to stop gazing at her right now? Yes…. I'm also aware I haven't stopped smiling for the past few minutes but, believe me, neither would you if you were in my shoes right now.


	2. Wedding Day - Part II

"And now onto to my beautiful wife..."

The speeches are in full flow and I'm three quarters through my speech – I've thanked everyone I need to, I've attempted a funny joke or two and now it's time to let everyone know just how much I love this wonderful woman sitting beside me. I know this is another one of those moments that Mac & I will remember for the rest of our days – in my head I know that and I sure as hell want to do this right. I'm not usually a sentimental man in public but today of all days – I can't help myself – everyone needs to know just how much I love her and just how much I intend to make her happy for the rest of her life...

I look down and take her hand into mine and gently pull her to her feet... she wraps her arm around my waist and gently pops the softest of kisses to my cheek as I continue...

"Mackenzie..." I start and she smiles shyly at me... "Everyone here knows we may have taken our time to get to this point today but I want everyone to know just how much I love you - in so many ways and for so many reasons…. You know me and understand me like no one else has ever done and you love me like no one else has ever loved me. You make me laugh and smile so often, you have a way of bringing out the very best in me, a way of making me the best that I can be and I love you with all my heart."

I had been so nervous about this part of the speech but the look of pure love written across Mac's face right now encourages me to carry on...

"Mac, You're not only now my wife but you're my very best friend, my most trusted partner and my soul mate and I will love you like this until the day I die. Thank you for marrying me and making me the happiest man alive and thank you for loving me as much as you do. You know I love you the same in return and I know this is the start of many, many happy years together."

I picked up our glasses of champagne and together we clincked our glasses while all around us raised theirs... "Here's to a long and happy life together" I whisper so only she could hear...

Mackenzie didn't even manage to take a sip of her champagne as we toasted our marriage with our guests - her lips were on mine in a loving kiss within seconds and as we pulled apart a moment or two later I couldn't help but see the tears that rolled down her cheek. Now I've done enough bad shit in the past to upset her but I know that these tears now are tears of happiness and I slowly wipe them away with my thumbs as our dear friends around us clap and cheer our love. Mackenzie grabs hold of my hand a moment later, kisses me again and we both take our seats.

I look up at Charlie to let him know it's his turn and I must admit I wonder what the hell pearls of wisdom Charlie is going to come out with in his speech!

* * *

So, from that speech you'll have figured that I managed to get myself through our wedding service and I am now a married man. My Wife and I (seriously - how good does that phrase sound?) are currently sat with our friends and family members in a small restaurant in Manhattan now listening to Charlie's funny tales about us both (and boy does he have a few of those to tell – I'm slowly losing my reputation here)! Maybe he wasn't such a good choice as best man after all!

I hear Mackenzie chuckle beside me as Charlie lets rip with another joke and then she slowly gazes up at me with such a look of love and longing in her eyes that, for a moment, I'm rendered speechless again… Really – how does she continue to do this to me? She simply looks adorable right now. I don't know if it's just the emotion of the day but I can't take my eyes of her wherever she is or whatever she's doing - I can't get enough of the look of utter contentment on her face and to know I'm responsible for this happiness is slightly overwhelming for a guy like me – she's almost like a drug to me right now – I'm utterly addicted to her. You wouldn't believe it but the manic Mackenzie we all know and love has disappeared for the day and has been replaced by some calm, tranquil, serene, sane person - I am fairly certain that I have never seen her look at such utter peace the whole time I've known her.

She has hardly stopped squeezing my hand for the past half an hour and as Charlie's speech starts to come to an end she leans across and drops the softest of kisses onto my lips… "I love you Billy – with all my heart…" she whispers and I swear my heart has just done a full double somersault in my chest. As more words of love spill from her mouth, aimed only at me, I gaze into her eyes and know that her words are completely true – at times she just can't hide her love for me and that makes me feel like I'm king of the world.

Five minutes later, after the speeches have finally finished we're asked to stand and lead the dancing. She looks up at me and smiles that beautiful smile again and honestly I'm melting inside… Now – I'm not a dancer (well not in public anyway) so there is a cheer from the crowd of friends as Mac manages to pull me to my feet to start dancing - I swear she could get me to jump of the Brooklyn Bridge right now if she asked me to!

A few moments later, I found myself on the small dance floor with my gorgeous wife in my arms and we sway slowly in time to Elvis singing "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You". I can feel her warm breath tickle my neck… her lips are so close to my skin and she keeps popping these delightful little kisses to the underside of my jaw as we dance… She really has no idea what she does to me with actions like this or she surely wouldn't torture me like this in a public place…

"Happy?" she asks in the softest of voices….

"Happy has to be the understatement of the decade" I reply quietly gently tucking a piece of hair behind her ear before my hand slipped back around her waist…"How about you?"

Mac actually laughs at my question, as if it's the stupidst question on earth, and then she tightens her arms which are currently draped around my neck…. "Happier than I ever thought was possible…" she replies dreamily and I know in an instant what she means…

She trails her hand down my cheek and gently kisses me again before a questioning look crosses her face... "I know you wanted a small wedding - I just wondered if you thought this was all too much for you? You've been quiet – apart from the gorgeous speech" she murmured gently nipping a kiss to my neck again…

"It's been perfect darling – absolutely perfect..." I assure her and I really do mean it but she still looks slightly concerned... "Darling, If I'm quiet it's because I'm a little overwhelmed if I'm honest... with you... with the whole day... with how much I love you... how you make me feel..." My words are quiet and sincere and she nods her head and holds me tightly – she always understands me somehow - always manages to allay my fears when I'm feeling like this...

"We'll be home in a couple of hours..." she whispers and I think once again she can read my mind...

For a few moments we dance and listen to Elvis sing the words that mean so much to both of us – We're not huge Elvis fans or anything like that – it's just that the words in this song are so appropriate for us and the love we share... I mean – listen to the words of the second verse here...

_Like a river flows surely to the sea  
Darling so it goes  
Some things are meant to be  
Take my hand, take my whole life too  
For I can't help falling in love with you_

If that doesn't describe our love perfectly then what does – 'Some things are meant to be' and 'Take my hand, take my whole life too'…. It could have been written with us in mind and it was the only choice when it came to finding ourselves a wedding song.

Of course, it wasn't too long before I couldn't help but gaze down at my wife once more – she is so relaxed here in my arms that it almost feels like we were dancing at home in the privacy of our apartment… Mind you – I am getting to that point in the evening when I am wishing we were in the privacy of our apartment – especially with Mackenzie pressed up against me like this. Hey – I know those kind of thoughts are probably inappropriate right now but I'm only human – she is a damn sexy lady!

I look away for a moment and try to think about other things but she soon lets out a little giggle and presses herself even harder against me… She's a bloody minx at times – she knows what's happening in my mind (and body) right now and I swear she's doing everything she can to make matters worse!

"Kenz…. Stop it.." I whisper and she giggles again….

"What?" she whines attempting to sound innocent – it's an adorable whine though and I can't help but let out a little chuckle at her feigned innocence…

I'm in that kind of mood though this evening where she literally could get away with anything… I've had a fantastic day, I can't take the smile of my face however hard I try and yes, I may have had a couple of scotch's too many (just to steady the nerves of course) but simply everything Mackenzie is doing right now is adorable. I can tell from the look in her eyes she's still waiting for an answer to her 'what' though and before I say another word I lean in slightly and kiss her on the lips… "You know full well what I mean Mrs McAvoy…."

"I swear - I have no idea what you're talking about darling" she giggles innocently and leans her head back on my shoulder…

"hmmm" I whisper softly in reply as I nibble her ear as seductively as I can in public… "You'll know what I'm talking about gorgeous when we get to bed later – believe me!"

I swear there was a growl somewhere deep inside her at my comment and really – that does nothing to calm my brain or other parts of my body but again, I try to think of other things…. I nuzzle my head into her neck, loving the feeling of the satin of her dress as my hands rest on the small of her back…. "Your dress is beautiful" I whisper sincerely but all I hear is a little cheeky giggle in return…

"You wait till you see what's underneath!" she replies with another tiny growl... "Shhh! For your eyes only!" she adds seductively and that's it - I'm a dead man!

"I need to get you out of here and home" is all I can manage to stutter in reply - much to Mackenzie's amusement….

Hey? Is it bad to want to end your own wedding reception so you can take your bride home and make love to her all night long?! I don't think so!

* * *

It's well after midnight and I am finally stretched out in bed with my wife literally wrapped around me (I don't think I'll ever tire of calling her that by the way) and you'll be pleased to hear we have consummated our marriage - more than once actually but I won't go into details here – a gentleman never tells - you know that! I heard somewhere once, that if either party any refuses to consummate the marriage that it is probable grounds for an annulment - not that either my wife of I would refuse that– we couldn't bloody wait to get it all legal properly!

Anyway, where was I?... Ah yes... me stretched out in bed... At the moment Mac is drifting in and out of sleep and looks so angelic – usually, I gaze at her first thing in the morning when I wake before her – I love to watch her sleep you see, but tonight – I simply can't take my eyes off her or keep my hands off her. Honestly, if someone had told me years ago this is how wonderful life could feel being married I swear I would have done everything in my power to marry this woman years ago. Oh God, I desperately want to sleep as we have an early start in the morning but I can't sleep because she feels so damn good lying here next to me... I can't concentrate or turn my brain off from thinking how good this all is and I still can't stop fucking grinning...

She must sense me watching her or something because at that moment her eyes flicker open sleepily and she instantly smiles when she realises I'm awake... "mmmm" she murmurs her lips automatically pressing down in a soft kiss to my chest... "Thought I was dreaming for a moment then..."

"Sweet dreams?" I ask feeling so much love and adoration for her...

There's that smile again and I can't help but kiss her lips softly and tenderly... she trails her finger down my cheek and nods slowly... "I was dreaming I was married to this most wonderful man... then... mmmm... I open my eyes and realised it's not a dream..."

I know we've both had a fair amount of champagne this evening but I simply can't resist her and instantly I'm rolling on top of her naked body again... Honestly at what point does pure unadulterated love making turn into something inappropriate because I literally can't control myself tonight and I feel kind of bad about it for some reason... Mind you, not that she seems to be too concerned right now – I think she's feeling exactly the same as me as she attempts to pull us even closer together...

"You okay?" she whispers probably noticing the longing look plastered across my face...

"I haven't been able to take my eyes of you all day today – do you know that?" I murmur a moment or two later as I kiss her lips... "Or keep my hands off you" I add sheepishly...

"I did notice!" she replies coyly and you know what? She loves it! If you could see the look on her face right now you can tell she loves seeing how she affects me... I think she knows she can turn me to pulp in one second flat and she loves it!

She hesitates for a second as she takes in the look in my eyes and then she wraps her arms tightly around my neck and kisses me with such urgency and such love that I suddenly find myself in the same situation I was earlier today – utterly speechless... It's a good job I don't need to think much to respond to a kiss...

A moment later she gently pushes me off her and snuggles into me – right into our usual sleeping position... She rolls on her side and buries her head as deep into my chest as she possibly can... At the same moment her leg interweaves itself with my legs and her right arm drapes itself possessively across my chest... she presses a gentle kiss to my chest and instantly she's on the verge of being asleep...

"mmmm... love you..." she moans as she runs her foot up my calf... "Sleep now Billy..." she whispers a second later... "Honeymoon tomorrow..." and then she's gone – way into the land of nod, breathing gently but still she's smiling that beautiful, peaceful smile that has been on her face all day long.

She's right... Do you know what awaits us two tomorrow? Yup, two weeks in the Caribbean – just us two and the four "S's" !

For those of you that don't know what the four S's are – they're…. Sun –Sand - Sea and - well I'll let you guess what the fourth S is! Come on - It is our honeymoon after all!

* * *

**Thanks for the replies - I hope you're enjoying this... :) **

**Anyone want to hear about the honeymoon? !**

**x**


	3. Our Honeymoon - Part I

As I make my way across the now cool sand towards my wife with two colourful cocktails in my hands I can't help but think back to this time two and a half years ago. Mac had just returned to ACN and, at first, I could hardly bear to even look at her. I tell you, if it wasn't for the BP spill I don't know what would have happened that night – whether we'd be here today or whether I would have just chucked her out or even walked out myself. God, to think of it now, if that had happened we would never have worked together again, we would never have become close again and then – I wouldn't be here in Paradise – on my honeymoon with my wife. Mackenzie believes in fate a lot and I suppose I can see her point these days - it certainly steered our lives into a different direction.

If I'm honest - I am sometimes ashamed at my feelings and actions when she returned to ACN... I can remember those feelings of hatred that I felt for those first few hours but of course it didn't last for long – it was only just hovering on the surface – it was obviously never a true reflection of my feelings towards her. Dr Habib says I hated the situation rather than hating her and I think he's right there (I don't often say that about him – a kid that young surely can't be right about so many things!) Anyway, I knew I could never hate her... By the time I'd bumped into her at the elevators that night I knew in my head I still loved her... When two people are meant to be together – even if they've had a terrible time in the past - hatred soon disappears – as long as the love is always there and that's one thing Mackenzie & I could never deny – our love has always been there.

Mind you, as I watch the distant look etched of my Wife's face at the moment I think back to the many conversations we've had over the past six months and how unhappy Mac had been before we sorted ourselves out. For years she had convinced herself that she was doomed to live a life of misery – that she didn't deserve happiness but I suppose living for months on end in a warzone with a broken heart would make most women think that way. Why she would ever volunteer for living in a warzone in the first place is something I will never understand mind – not till the day I die... but again, Habib reminds me that at the time we had just broken up, I had banished her from my life and I suppose if she felt anything like I did at the time she probably just wanted to curl up and die. What easier way to die than take yourself off to a Warzone in pursuit of great journalism?

Our initial break up was horrendous when it happened... God I was an idiot…. There's that word again but this time it really was true – I was a complete and utter idiot. In my defence though, I was hurt beyond belief – and this time, for once, it wasn't my fault. I'm not going into all the details now but you get the picture when I say she had cheated on me, betrayed me, rejected me and I was still utterly smitten with her at the time... so smitten that I had even shopped for and chosen an engagement ring. I was more than ready to propose - it just seemd she wasn't.

I know I was no saint when it happened but really, many of you would do and say the things I did, I'm sure you would. My heart was completely shattered and when you're in that position you're bound to want to hurt the person who had caused all the hurt – in this case it was Mackenzie. This is testament to what a great woman she is though – to this day she's never complained or blamed me for how I reacted or behaved – all she ever did when she returned from the Middle East was to take all the guilt upon herself and try to fix the situation – to try to fix us.

She barely talks about her time in the Middle East you know - not even to me... She hides a lot of all those memories but her scars are there for all to see. One in particular... A knife wound courtesy of a mad man who thought he could get his political views across by sticking a knife into a female American journalist. I swear – if you ever left me alone in a room with said mad man I would end up going to jail for the rest of my life for what he did to her. She doesn't complain though at what happened or at the scars left behind – it's a shrug of the shoulders and a comment like 'All in the line of duty' from Mackenzie if anyone ever brings the conversation up. I have no idea how she does it – how it doesn't eat her away inside but I suppose she's just made that way – super strong mentally.

I will never forget the night when I actually saw that terrible scar for the first time. It was the night we got back together six months ago... It had been such an emotional night already for both of us... We had spent the best part of three hours in my office – her dressed up to the nines (ready for her hot date with Mr CNN) and looking absolutely stunning by the way, and me still in my suit from doing our broadcast that night. We poured our hearts out to each other in those three torturous hours, we'd gone over everything that had happened before we split, then an excruciating hour talking about him - why she slept with Brennar (an hour of my life I NEVER want to re-live), then onto exactly how we had felt while we'd been apart. Finally, we admitted that we'd desperately missed each other, missed being together and wanted nothing more than to be a couple again – to try again and be happy again. It took us a while but we finally realised that night we would only ever find happiness if we were together – it would never be able to come with anyone else. We loved each other for God's sake – all the rest of the shit just had to be forgotten and forgiven.

Eventually we collapsed on the sofa in my office both physically and emotionally drained but both with a massive weight off our minds and a future of some sort to look forward to. We hadn't eaten or drunk a thing during the whole session and although we knew we should have taken things slowly we couldn't help ourselves – I asked Mac to come back to my apartment – with the intention of just getting something to eat and talking some more but we ended up in bed together of course.

I remember it so clearly, undressing her that night... After all the shit we'd been through in the previous few hours it was turning out to be an amazing evening – so magical... something special was most definitely happening but I'd literally forgotten about the scar... As I say – she doesn't talk about it much and believe me, I had other things on my mind as I slowly un-buttoned her blouse that night. I felt it before I saw it as I was running my hands over every single part of her body that I could touch – desperately trying to reacquaint myself with her. As my fingers ran across the now smooth outline of the scar I stopped – froze – and instantly sat up and stared. The moment I saw it I couldn't help the tears that crept from my eyes... It wasn't the sight of it on her body – I'm not that shallow - but it was the memories of what I'd forced her to do by my words and actions when we'd split. The scar – it was almost as if it bought it all home to me – made it all real... Before that, if I tried hard enough I could push all those thoughts from my mind and pretend they hadn't really happened but laying there in the semi-darkness, looking at the scar with my fingers hovering just over it finally made me realise what hell she'd been through and all without me there to comfort her or look after her like I'd always swore I would be.

I felt like shit – a complete and utter dick and of course totally responsible for what she had been through. She doesn't agree that it was my fault though, she says she made her own decisions to go to the middle east but that's not how I see it... If I hadn't been so cruel and forced her out she wouldn't have run away – because that's what she did – she ran away from me and our situation. It's as simple as that in my opinion. And now – now there was a fucking scar, four fucking inches long across her abdomen to remind me what a total dickhead I was.

At that moment, at two o'clock in the morning, wanting nothing more than to make love to her after five years apart, all I could think of was the emails she had sent which I hadn't even read before I deleted them... the messages she had left that I had ignored and worse of all, how hurt she must have been to send those emails and how she must have felt as I constantly ignored her for three fucking years. See why I'm a fucking idiot and see why I don't think I deserve her?

Sometimes I still get so angry and hate myself for all that shit before... I'm trying not to as it upsets me and more importantly, it upsets Mackenzie but I do hate myself. In my darker moments - usually when she's not with me and I'm missing her like crazy - I hate myself for what I made her do. Sadly, I don't think I'll ever be able to truly forgive myself however much I talk to Dr Habib about things.

She was amazing though that night... She read my mind as the tears began to flow... she knew what I was thinking, knew what I was feeling and she took me in her arms and held onto me so tightly until it all became a little easier. She laid with me in her arms, kissed me, told me she loved me – that she'd never stopped loving me – even through her betrayal with Brennar, even through our time apart she said she still loved me more than anyone or anything else ever. She assured me she didn't blame me for any of it and generally she pieced me back together again after I fell apart. Honestly, she's so fucking strong mentally and I admire, respect and love her so very much for that.

My Mackenzie - she's a big believer that every cloud has a silver lining and that's certainly true with us... Look at us now – married, happy as happy could be and - back that to that night briefly – honestly I have never felt as much love as I did that night when we finally got around to making love. It was slow, tender, so very beautiful and so full of love... I know this will sound like a cliche but it wasn't sex - it was truly making love and it has never felt as magical as it was that night – ever.

But hey, enough of those kinds of thoughts and enough of memories of the scar and what caused it – I'm on my honeymoon – I shouldn't be thinking like this - not in a surrounding like this. Kenz firmly believes that if you have a soul mate out there somewhere then fate decides when and where you meet and when you find your happiness. Honestly, at times, I think her 'fate' soppiness gets worse every single day but believe me I'm not complaining – we're more contented than we could ever imagined life could be even after all that shit that has happened between us. Mind you – this place helps with contentment and happiness! I do worry how we'll be when we finally get back to our little Newsroom though! We're going to have to toughen up and get back into work mode somehow!

Anyway, back to why I'm strolling across a beach in the Caribbean in the middle of February… Well, as you probably know, I'm on my honeymoon – me and my darling wife have been married for seven whole days now. These (very girlie) drinks mark the start of our celebrations for our one week anniversary. How good does that sound? We can now officially celebrate anniversaries! I know it probably sounds sickly sweet rather than good but I don't care what people think right now... Don't knock it unless you've tried it I say!

Here's my girl – sat on a rock daydreaming away… I wonder if she realises just how beautiful she looks right now…

"Right, Sex on the Beach?!"

She can't help but giggle at the goofy grin on my face right now… She knows full well I mean the cocktails in my hand but the twinkle in my eye should also tell her what else I'm thinking!

Ha – she giggles again – she's so on my level of thinking as usual!

I can't explain just how beautiful this place is - we've found our most favourite place in this little town in the Caribbean – it's so laid back and has the most amazing long beach with loads of little coves. We've sat here for hours and hours on end cuddling, kissing and sharing our hopes and dreams for the future with each other. Okay – yeah - I might have a point as I wiggle my eyebrows cheekily at Mac – we may have had sex on the beach here (more than once), when it was extremely late and extremely dark the other night but – come on – who wouldn't when you're in paradise with the woman of your dreams and the opportunity presents itself. You can't blame a guy for trying again can you?!

"Happy?" she asks for what must be the fifth time already today as she drops a soft, tender kiss on my lips. I nod slowly and soon enough I'm sat snugly beside her with my arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder making her feel so safe and warm inside. "This is heaven" she states simply as both of us stare out to sea content with just watching the sun set over the crashing waves.

"So, what does the beautiful Mrs McAvoy have in mind for the rest of the night?" I ask and once again I find myself kissing her softly...

"mmmm – I reckon we head back to the room, have a little nap, a shared bath maybe and then dinner…. Sound good?" she says as I tried hard to keep the dreamy look of my face but probably failing miserably…

"What about after dinner?" I ask with a naughty glint in my eye...

"Well, what do you have in mind gorgeous?" she manages to utter between hot, passionate kisses….

I sneak a long look down at our drinks and chuckle to myself... "Well, this sex on the beach drink… it… you know – kind of gives me such ideas" I said chuckling again… "And before you say anything I'll let you go on top this time so I get the sand up my ass!"

Oh god - did I mention we've turned into love struck teenagers that simply can't get enough of each other? Honestly – I was never this bad as a horny teenager even! This woman will be the death of me if I'm not careful!

She can't help but laugh at my predictable lines – honestly, I've used the same sort of line near enough every day this week but somehow it always seems to work! Despite her feigned protests, I have found myself making love to my wife in a deserted cove after a few too many cocktails! But, even nicer than the night time secret sandy love making, is the hot bath together once we get back to the room – well you have to get rid of the sand don't you and a shared shower is just simply not as nice as a shared bath – or so Mackenzie says! God only knows how we haven't been caught and arrested yet! Can you imagine that story hitting page six of the gossip magazines back home – I can just see the headline now and I swear to myself that we won't be doing that anymore! Charlie would KILL us!

Feeling another kiss land on the side of my head I steal a look at my wife and feel myself melt at the look on her face…. Oh no – I know that look anywhere – she thinks maybe it's time for some teasing…. She takes a breath and sighs dramatically... "mmmm – I don't know – maybe I've had enough of sex on the beach" she utters taking a tiny sip of the cocktail….

I know instantly that she's joking right now – she can't hide the smirk on her face if she tried... Time to play along methinks... "Mackenzie McAvoy – I know you better than anyone and I know you could never get enough sex on the beach!"

I try so hard to keep a serious look on my face but she just has such a devilish grin on hers that I know I'm going to crack up at any second… "Well maybe, William Duncan McAvoy, you don't know me as well as you think you do! Hmmm… maybe... just maybe, I would prefer a slow comfortable screw!" she says referring to the other cocktail we've been drinking plenty of. (Hey - I only buy the cocktails with the rude names – you might have guessed that by now! So mature eh?)!

I hear her words and almost spit my drink onto the floor before the pair of us crack up completely - giggling uncontrollably at nothing really but that's how life is out here – happy and carefree and I honestly wish I could stay here forever with this wonderful woman I'm lucky enough to be married to. I actually mean that when I say it – I know people think of us as some big power couple back home but I think I could give it all up for this life we've found out here this week. Before I know what's happened she grabs my drink out of my hand and suddenly straddles me so she's sitting on my lap kissing me softly… Talk about turn me on – again!

"You're teasing me now aren't you?" I chuckle… "Do you have any idea what you do to me eh? With talk of sex on the beach and slow comfortable screws?... How is an old guy like me supposed to control myself?"

Just as she's about to reply with some witty comment about not doing very well at me controlling myself I manage to stop her as I let my lips press onto hers in a hard, steamy kiss - and boom - my mind goes completely blank. For some reason, I tend to lose any kind of rational thoughts when Mac kisses me like this and within seconds I can't help but wrap my arms around my wife's neck in a long, tender and passionate kiss.


End file.
